No matter how carefully we plan our schedules to allow writing time, everyday life seems to intervene and leave those plans in disarray. Those of us who are serious about making time to write are left feeling frustrated. More often than not, we take that frustration out on ourselves. We’re weak, we tell ourselves, we’re people pleasers or maybe we’re just losers.
That self blame usually doesn’t motivate us to write. Instead it leaves us feeling drained of ideas and too exhausted to sit in front of the computer or a notebook. This exhaustion often triggers more bouts of self-loathing. We scold ourselves that if we were real writers, we wouldn’t have these problems. Finding time to write would be easy.
The truth of the matter is that real writers have real lives and like everyone else, they struggle to keep a healthy balance between the mundane demands of life and their work.
Life happens. Children need to be taken to soccer practice. Spouses expect quality time. The house needs to be cleaned and the laundry done. Car insurance must be purchased. Tax forms need to be filled out and, unless we’re hermits, our friendships require at least some effort.
Sometimes finding time to write is difficult. Sometimes it becomes temporarily impossible.
Notice the word, temporarily. Only when we short-circuit the self-:blame can we fully place our attention on taking care of business and then get back to writing with eagerness and joy. When we do otherwise, not only do our daily lives fall into disarray, our relationships suffer as well. At some level friends and family sense that we’d rather be writing and they react accordingly.
Instead of bemoaning the fact that you don’t have time to write or beating yourself up for not having written when obligations of daily life pile up around you, learn to keep the writing momentum going during busy times.
Carry a small notebook and pencil or pen with you at all times so that you can jot down ideas about your current work as they come to you.
Make notes about your writing project so that the threads will be easier to pick up when you can get back to the actual writing.
Do at least one 15-minute task each day that will move you closer to your writing goal. File some papers, read a relevant article, do a bit of Internet research, read Writer’s Market for a few minutes, straighten up your writing area, buy stamps, or address envelopes.
As soon as you finish the tasks that eliminated your writing time, start writing again, if only for a few minutes. Rewarding ourselves by not writing is a dangerous habit to establish.
Reframe writing as a reward for insurance shopping, filing your taxes or fertilizing the lawn, rather than relegating it to the status of one more item on the to-do list.
Recall a time when you were overwhelmed with legitimate tasks that absolutely had to be finished. Write about how it felt to have so much to do. How did you feel both physically and emotionally as you accomplished each task? What strategies worked best for you during this difficult time? How did you motivate yourself to keep going?
Now remember a time when you invented busy work to avoid writing. What sorts of activities did you use to fill your time? What did you tell yourself to justify this? How did you feel physically and emotionally?
When you’ve finished, write about how legitimate overwhelm feels different from procrastination. How could you simplify your life in order to eliminate one or two activities or demands that keep you from writing? What procrastination activities do you want to eliminate?